I looked out the window in wonder. How could life continue to go on as if nothing had happened? How could people go on with their days? My daughter’s life was over. My wife will not get to hear you cry or hold you, sleeping, in her arms. We would not experience your bright smile or warm hugs. The joys of childbirth were gone; only the pain remained ahead. How dare they not know what we are going through. Didn’t they understand that nothing they were doing really mattered. The only thing that did matter, was gone.As we prayed to God for answers, He began to answer the prayers of others. We started to feel LOVE. He Loved us with the knowledge that we would, one day, get to meet you. He loved us through the gentle caring of the nurses who became our close friends. He loved us with the generosity of His people who supplied our every need. He loved us with the endless line of friends that shared in our grief. He loved us through our family that experienced our pain. In the early morning hours, after the waves of emotion and the outpouring of support, He loved us with joy. As we held you in our arms, the tears flowing as though they would never end, we got to experience the joy and accomplishment of seeing the child that God had made with us. From your tiny fingers to your prescious feet, you were perfect in every way. You would never have to live in this fallen world. You will not be fearful or sad. You will only feel love and joy. I am priveleged and blessed that my daughter will be raised by the creator of joy and the father of love. Your short time here has touched so many; so deeply. How could a father ask for anything more?I love you Addison
How can a loving god allow suffering of innocent children? This is often one of the biggest hurdles to a belief in God. God is omnipotent. He can do anything He wishes and yet he chose to stand by as my young daughters life was snuffed out. It was easy for me to believe that God had a good reason for all of the pain in this world for most of my life. I never had to experience it. It took a different kind of faith to believe He was in control as I watched my wife hold on to her dead daughter after eight years of fertility treatments.
I have always heard people say that God gave them the strength to get through a tragedy but it always sounded cheesy to me. They got through it because they had no choice but to get through it. Didn’t they? I think I have always believed in God but relied on my own strength. This time I didn’t have enough strength. I sat there realizing that my daughter wasn’t going to grow up here with us. We wouldn’t get to hear her say mommy or daddy. I wouldn’t get to teach her how to catch snakes or where to tickle her mommy. I didn’t have any of myself left. I had used it all up very early on in this painful process, but God was giving me more strength. Somehow I was able to be there to comfort my wife. I was strong enough to make the decisions that were so hard to make and somehow in the midst of all of this, I knew that everything was going to be alright. God gave me a sense of calm understanding that He was in control and, even if I couldn’t understand it, this was part of His plan.
I have done a lot of research and thinking about why God decides to let bad things happen to good people. While there are several good reasons, the most insightful one is to consider the alternative. If God were to protect Christians, or even “good people”, from pain and suffering then the motivation for people to believe in and rely on Him would be to have a perfect life. This is not what He wants from us, though. He desires a relationship with us much like a friendship. It must be really hard for a billionaire to know who his friends are because everyone pretends to be his friend. He has the ability to make peoples lives easier so they want to be friends with him. We all know that this is not true friendship at all. A real friend, just like the real God wants our love unconditionally which is the same way He loves us.